The Ongoing Pain

Author's Note: When it came to choosing a topic for this personal narrative, I was looking for something that I could easily write about. Feelings are easy to write about therefore making this what I chose.

As the tears rolled down my cheeks, the pain intensified. Looking into the eyes of someone I used to know so well, it was hard to breathe. I reached out to touch him but as my fingers made contact with his face, I realized it was just a picture. This realization made the tears come faster because I also realized, this was all I had left of him.

The pain of losing someone is so horrible that there’s no words to describe it. Even though everyone goes through it, people have lacked words to even come close to describing the misery. Just 3 months ago I lost my best friend. The one person I confided in about most things, was suddenly gone from my life. I remember it like it was yesterday. It had been a normal summer day, yet it was one I’ll never forget. I had been driving to a friend’s house when I got the call. The call that changed my life forever. I remember how the shock had left me numb for the rest of the day. The pain didn’t really hit until that night, when I realized I would never get one of his silly text messages again. I would never see his fiery red hair again; I would never be affected by his contagious laugh ever again. That night was by far the worst of my life. That pain was so awful, so terrible. I feel it every time I hear his name, see his pictures. The pain still hurts as if it were new.

For everyone that loses a loved one, some days are better than others. That doesn’t even come close to the reality of it though. There’s so many things I wish I would’ve been able to say. Now all I want to say is I miss you. That’s all there is to it, regrets and sorrow. All I look forward to is the day where I won’t have to miss him anymore. The day where I’ll be with him again, I’ll finally be able to tell him everything I want to, anything I need to. But that thought leaves me wondering, will that day ever come?

As of right now, there’s something missing inside of me. A hole that can’t be filled. With every passing day, I miss him more. They say that every cloud has a silver lining. That’s what I’m hoping for, praying for. Ever since that day, my happiness has been in jeopardy; I’m waiting for this all to make sense. Waiting for the answer to the question I’ve been pondering ever since that day back in July. Why did he have to leave?